Spanish 101

Hola! The title of this post may be a little misleading; I'm not actually going to teach you any Spanish. If you want to learn, buy a dictionary, join a class or Californian gang, or travel to a Spanish speaking nation! What this post is about is what I believe, in my modest opinion, to be the best way to learn Spanish, or most languages for that matter.

When I first went to Peru, as I have already said in an earlier post, I didn't know any Spanish. My linguistic ability comprised the following: a C in A level French, (which is about as unimpressive as it sounds...I can tell you where my pencil case is, what time the train leaves and directions to the swimming pool!) an A* in Latin GCSE, (I remember practically no Latin except baculum - a stick) and a native speaker's grasp of English!

So, before we began teaching English in Pacaran, we had a two week crash course in elementary Spanish, but essentially we had to pick the language up as we went along. This is the best way to learn any language in my opinion. Within 6 months my Spanish ability was vastly superior to my French, which I had studied in stifling classrooms for seven years. I am astonished at how quickly immigrants in Britain pick up our language, even complex slang, but after learning Spanish in similar circumstances - not in class but on the streets and in everyday situations - it is easy to see how people learn languages so quickly - it's simply about survival.

My friend Will and I became part of our village community because we could interact with the locals. The two girls who were teaching in the neighbouring village struggled to fit in because they could not speak Spanish. We all started out as equals - no experience with the language whatsoever, but where Will and I thrived, the girls failed. I believe the reason for this is what is most crucial when learning a new language: confidence.

I wasn't confident when I first started speaking Spanish, until an elderly gentleman in Pacaran said I'd enjoy myself more if I wasn't scared of making mistakes. Hearing that was a revelation. It struck me that most foreigners speaking English will make grammatical slip-ups (my Iranian mother-in-law still gets he/she confused after 25 years!) or use the wrong words, but because of context, intonation and the instinct to know where a conversation is going, it is relatively unimportant. It is the same with Spanish...Will and I knew that we weren't speaking perfectly, but the locals understood, and we weren't embarrassed. The girls, on the other hand, suffered from a crippling shyness and would clam up and not speak unless absolutely necessary. In Lima and more cosmopolitan areas they would simply revert to English. Will and I however would carry on with our broken Spanish, making mistake after mistake. Below are some highlights:

* Asking for a slice of kaka instead of queque (pronounced keke). Queque is cake. Kaka is Peruvian Spanish for shit. The woman simply stared.

* When telling someone my age, I said "tengo 18 annos," which means "I have 18 arseholes." I was trying to say "I am 18 years old."

* Papa rellena (stuffed potato) is a Peruvian delicacy. It is simply a baked potato hollowed out and stuffed with your filling of choice. Papa is a Quechua word, and half a millennium after the conquistadores vanquished the Incas, the Peruvian vernacular is still littered with indigenous words. Papa in Spanish is colloquial for Father. the intonation differs between papa (potato) and Papa (father). therefore, I asked for a stuffed Father.

So, that's Spanish 101. Just throw yourself in and have a go! It doesn't matter if you make a fool out of yourself, talk jibberish or go round in circles. The locals will find it endearing and every conversation you have takes you one step closer to being proficient at the language.