Getting Horny In Peru!

Beep beep! So sounds the car horn, a sound that in the city of Lima is as common as the roar of the Pacific ocean, the cry of "Taxi!" as cabs hurtle past, and the repetitive beat of salsa music. Car horns here often make more exotic noises, such as a belching sound or a few bars of an infuriatingly catchy tune, but generally, the bulk of your daily soundtrack in Lima is "Beep! Beep!"

It gets annoying. Especially as the horns don´t stop at night. No noise pollution laws here! So, as the cacophony continues 24-7, I found myself asking the question, "why?"

The car horn, for a Peruvian, seems to be a tool of at least equal - if not more - importance than the brakes. The horn means "Get out of my way!" It also means "I´m here, please don´t crash into me," as well as "hello," or "goodbye," or even, "can I buy a pen off you please?" (That last one is not a joke. It happens.)

We British are so reserved when it comes to deplying our horns, that to me a honking sound means someone has done something extremely rash and dangerous, or someone is very angry. So, as I walk around the streets of Lima, I am constantly flinching as horns blare, and a look around preparing to do that most British things; apologise. It is a habit that I am finding it very hard to break.

Bloggito!

Peruvians are a fan of the diminutive. In their beautifully slow, simple Spanish, they often end words with the three letters "ito," signifying something to be small or short. For example, "corto" means "short," so "cortito" would be "very short." Similarly, "almuerzo" means "lunch", so "almuerzito" is a little lunch. All very simple and easy to understand for the budding linguist.

However, this trend can become confusing, as it does not just apply to adjectives, but all sorts of words. Take the word "ahora," meaning "now." Now is a word that denotes immediacy. If something is happening now, the word locks the event in the present. It can also be used with as an imperative to strenghten a command, eg. Do the dishes now!

But, in Peru, I have been left at bus stops scratching my head many a time as a cheery conductor informs me the bus will arrive "ahorita." Little now? Does that mean right now, or not quite now, or nearly now? I have not got a bloody clue, and generally, half an hour later I'm stood in exactly the same place, convinced the bus is just around the corner, scared to move because the word "now" has been uttered, but in some vexing form which I do not understand.

Sometimes the "ito" phenomenon enters the territory of the downright bizarre. For example, driving around La Paz on a smog spewing bus, our friend Maria pointed out the cemetery. A cemetery, obviously, is where the dead reside. Dead, in Spanish, is "muerto." But, bafflingly, Maria referred to them as "muertitos." Was this a cemetery of midgets? I just can´t get to grips with how the "ito" rule applies. But, although I may never understand it I find it endlessly quirky, endearing, and fun. Finito!